007.

I was told that today's energy holds a direct path to knowing myself more intimately. 
Now, I know that sounds like some boujee basic white woman from the Upper East Side bullshit (cause it kind of is), but hear me out. I just thought of a poem 'power in the pussy" while in the shower. 
How more basic white woman can ya get? 

But seriously, I do need to know myself more intimately. I'm getting there. I'm slowly connecting with my former self. But my therapist wants me to go deeper. She wants me to give my 3-4 year old self what she wishes she had had. Protection. Safety. Love. Mercy. Grace. I'm not sure if I can do that yet. 

When I experienced what I experienced, a part of me floated away. Ever since, I've tried to fill that missing part with booze, sex, unrequited love, cuts on my thighs, nicotine and a little bit of that sweet Mary Jane. 

Yet I still haven't found it.

I'm getting close. I'm starting to see that that part of me really didn't float away. I just haven't had enough light in my life to see that it's been there all along. I'm starting to see glimpses of it. 

I gotta say, what I've seen so far is pretty beautiful. 

A

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